How to Dive into Your Emotions

Last week I wrote about why shoving away emotional pain was not helpful. All it took was an animated movie and the wise words of a man nearing his death bed for it to be drilled into me. I'm sure you're guilty of it as well- pushing away painful emotions because it's just too hard to deal with. Been there, done that. For us to deal with these painful emotions, we have to remember that, like anything in life, emotions are impermanent- what you feel now is not what you'll feel forever.

To help us through this emotional hump, may I suggest to you Mindfulness Meditation for Dealing With Difficult Emotions? I've adapted this from the Gottman Institute and it is also one of the tools I suggest in my upcoming Anger Management Toolkit Workbook. Don't like reading? Scroll down to the bottom for a pictograph!

SHAMELESS PLUG- look out for an announcement for Empathic's Upcoming Anger Management Toolkit Workbook this year! This workbook will cover the ins and outs of anger and how you can identify your own anger style to figure out the tools that best fit you.
   

Mindfulness Meditation for Dealing with Emotions

Before engaging in mindfulness meditation, ensure that you are in a comfortable setting in which you will be free from distractions, especially loud noises. Ideally, you should be alone and sitting in a comfortable position. Once comfortable, you may begin. Close your eyes and proceed with deep breathing, focusing on nothing but your breath. If you recognize intrusive thoughts, acknowledge that they are there and gently allow them to pass. When you feel that you are in a state of relaxation, explore your emotions…

Breathe with your emotion

Once you have become aware of your emotions, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and sit with the identified emotion. Do not inhibit it, suppress it, ignore it or try to conquer it. Be with an attitude of open curiosity and acceptance.

Tell the emotion that you see it

Acknowledge that the emotion is there and do not feel ashamed of its presence. If you do, tell yourself that you also recognize embarrassment.

Accept what is

Avoid denying the emotion and accept its presence. Embrace or hold the feeling in your awareness. This alone can calm and soothe you. This is actually an act of self-compassion as you are not punishing yourself for feeling this way.

Realize the impermanence of all emotions

All emotions are impermanent. They arise, stay for a while and then disappear. They come and go, like waves in the sea, cresting and receding. Your task is simply allow this current wave to be and to witness, as it continuously changes form and eventually disappears.

Investigation and Response

When you are calm enough, you can look deeply into your emotion to understand what has brought it about and what is causing you discomfort. Is it your thoughts? Values? Beliefs? Expectations? Judgments? A situation?

Trust yourself to choose the appropriate response

Now that you have a better understanding and awareness of your emotions, trust in your ability to choose an appropriate response. You can choose to let it go, confront it, or work through it.