Birunthaa Jeyanandan
As someone who grew up in Scarborough, Birunthaa addresses how her experiences influence the way she provides psychotherapy and how this has formed her identity.
Q&A with Birunthaa
For starters, tell me a little about yourself
My name is Birunthaa Jeyanandan and I’m a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). I have always been a fan of puzzles, which explains my passion for psychology. Music is an element of life that has been by my side since I was a young girl. I know the meaning of getting lost in something you love, but also the meaning of getting lost in life.
In the fast-paced environment that we live in, we’re all constantly on the run. And while we’re on this run, we look for answers to all of the questions in our lives, and sometimes, we don’t get that answer. And you know what, that’s okay! As difficult as it can be to accept that we don’t know what’s happening or don’t know what to say next, it only brings us one step closer to being human.
Having a South-Asian background, I know firsthand that mental health is not a popularly discussed topic in households. The concept comes with a lot of judgment, and can fill one with nervousness, embarrassment and anxiety. If you’ve read this far and want to continue reading, then I should stop and say that I’m proud of you for taking this first step! It can be hard to admit and accept that we need help and that there are concerns being raised, but taking the initiative to address them requires courage. And to those reading, you are courageous!
What's your therapeutic style? What's your approach to therapy?
My therapeutic approach is rooted in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, as well as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I have always been one to highlight the importance of knowing ourselves not just for what we like and dislike, but for what we believe in, what we value in life and what makes us who we are. Our perceptions lead to our thoughts, which allow us to experience a series of feelings and emotions. These feelings and emotions are our own, and we are entitled to them. I feel there is no greater strength than the power of unity, especially within us. We deserve to be our best friends and for that, we must get comfortable with our identity.
Good and bad, pretty and ugly, we as humans are a mix of all of this. But this mix is what makes us unique and allows us to stand out from the crowd. And this emphasizes the importance of client-centered care. I utilize this as part of my approach with the understanding that we are all different, and it is crucial to understand those differences. Client-centered care allows for greater focus and tailoring strategies and techniques to fit the individual better. It takes into consideration the client’s perspective which is something I value in therapy. There is no one-size fits all approach to therapy. We may have similar issues but different experiences, and this is why it becomes important to really get to know one another. I take my time getting to know my clients so that I can provide them with the best care possible.
Why did you choose psychotherapy?
I have always found myself wanting to help others. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a doctor as I thought I could save people. Though the idea of wanting to become a doctor has faded away, the notion of wanting to help has not. Growing up in a South-Asian community, I saw first-hand the lack of awareness of mental health. I could see and hear the stigma associated with it, and it baffled me. We see so many advertisements and postings about our physical health, financial health and social health, but our mental health is equally as important. I’ve always been someone who has wanted to give back to the community and enhance our societal connections, and I felt the best way for me to do this was to dive into becoming a therapist and create a space where everyone feels loved and feels important.
We are born with nothing and we leave with nothing but the memories we have created, the experiences we have had and the recollection of who we have been in our lifetime. When we see the world running,we feel an automatic sense to run along and keep up. What we forget at times is that it’s okay to take a break, catch our breath. It’s okay to think, to feel and to take time to understand where we are in life and what we want out of it.
I feel psychotherapy provides me with the space and outlet to give room for others to feel and experience this. If we don’t take care of ourselves, who will? The 24 hours we have in a day may not feel like enough, but it is important to prioritize ourselves. Help comes in so many forms, including reminding individuals to take time for themselves. Time is something we can never get back, and it’s okay to be a bit selfish with time! What drew me to psychotherapy was the significance behind taking care of ourselves, and that everyone deserves this for themselves.
What’s your best skill in psychotherapy?
What I always ask myself is “If I were on the other end, how would I like to be treated and how would I like to be made felt?” To me, the essence of psychotherapy is having a conversation. A conversation is not just about communicating but also listening, and this is where I practice the skillsets of active listening. The conversation also becomes the space for the individual to become the driver and myself the passenger. I feel it is important to give individuals the lead role as they are here for themselves. Not to be told what to do, but to feel like they are being heard. And to me, the best way of ensuring this is to walk into a conversation with a blank mind. A blank mind is one free of opinions, judgments and biases. This allows me to be grounded in the present moment and focus on the individual in front of me.
When it comes to communicating in a conversation, I take the time to ensure the other individual is aware of how I am receiving the information and what my thoughts are. I bring forth my intuition through my line of questioning to really get to know who I am speaking with for who they are. I feel it’s always about meeting in the middle, working with a level of compromise.
What can clients expect when they work with you?
Psychotherapy shouldn’t resemble an interview, but merely an interaction between two individuals. Creating a comfortable environment for someone to open up in is what is important, and I understand that this means becoming vulnerable in the moment. This may sound easy to put into words but can be hard to establish into practice. That’s where it becomes important to create a safe space, one where individuals feel respected and accepted. We all make mistakes and we all need help at times to get back on our path.
To me, therapy is a walk on a fine-line between controlling and guiding. I can share my perspective and provide suggestions, and that’s where I draw the line. I cannot control the decisions individuals make, and this is where I feel it is important to provide individuals with a sense of freedom. You are in charge of your life and that space that I create embraces that.
What are some therapeutic values that you bring to the table?
Kindness, respect and patience are of utmost importance to me. Change is not a process that happens overnight; it takes time and energy. And when someone is going through this process of change, it is important to acknowledge this and be kind towards themselves. I believe that there is no greater love than self-love, and self-care is another value that I bring to the table.
With respect comes embracing confidentiality. If someone has trusted me with information, it is important that I do not break that trust. For any relationship to be successful, honesty and trust must be present. Another value that I bring to the table is of holistic thinking. As Aristotle once said “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” I find value in viewing individuals for their whole self, and not just the specific parts that are being discussed with me.
Why choose you?
As you and I have both come to the end, I shall say that I have done my best to avoid using the term “client” very often in my writing. This was done with the intent to remove self-labeling. As we speak of identity, how we perceive ourselves and how we talk about ourselves has an impact. The world sees what we give it so let’s give the world some positivity! Be kind and compassionate to yourselves. Remember that you are entitled to your emotions so embrace them. As you embark on change, I will walk by your side. I will be there to be a sounding board, and an ally to provide support. I will be a cheerleader in all your achievements in this journey, small or big. A win is a win and is worth celebrating, so let’s celebrate together.