The Accountable Friend
Do you have a friend who just can't stay on track with their goals? How many times has this friend told you that they are putting their best foot forward in making this monumental step only to fail at it weeks later? What do you do? Do you stop taking them seriously? Do you let them do as they do because there's nothing you can do to change them? Do you give them judgemental looks until they're guilted into it?
I have that friend and today I have become his "Accountable Friend"
Let me paint you a back story. My friend, let's name him Paul, is a hardworking dude. Including his commute to work, I'd say he puts in 12+ hours of work Monday-Friday and then a few more over the weekend. He's not just busy with work either. He's got way too many other commitments that keeps him awake at all hours of the night. Over the years that I have known him, he has teetered between choosing a healthy lifestyle and an unhealthy one. When he's in his healthy phase, he exercises regularly, watches what he eats and doesn't drink alcohol. The pendulum moves the other way when he's in his unhealthy phase, predictably. I personally don't blame him because when you're that busy, it's easy to justify his unhealthy lifestyle. Since his life has become its busiest, Paul realizes that he has to move back into his healthy phase. I've heard this one too many times.
"That's it, I'm quitting drinking"
"I'm hitting the gym this week"
"New week, new me"
I used to get pumped for Paul when he tells me this but now he's just a little boy crying wolf. I roll my eyes at Paul when he's excited to change. I wait for him to show me that he has succumbed to his second pitcher after a day of work.
Now here's the plot twist: Paul has just won a free one-month membership to a fitness bootcamp and he's super excited. Here is the perfect opportunity to get shredded for FREE - he better not screw this up. I want to make sure that Paul stays committed so I've devised this questionnaire to help him create a plan that keeps him accountable for his change. As his self-appointed "Accountable Friend", my role is to check-in to make sure that he's on track, but he will also be responsible in showing me that he's consistently working on his goals. You can use the same questionnaire if you find yourself in my situation to help your friend devise a strategy.
1. Set a goal - What do you hope to achieve with this bootcamp? What is the SMART goal here?
2. Why is this goal so important to you, both on a short and long-term basis?
3. How can we break down your goals into micro-goals to make sure that you are staying on track?
4. How can you tell you're unmotivated? Where do you feel it in your body? In your thoughts?
5. Under what conditions do you feel unmotivated? What has to occur for you to feel unmotivated/lazy?
6. What do you need from me, a supportive friend?
7. How do we celebrate your little wins?
8. How often would you like me to check-in with you? How often is too often? How often is too little?
9. What are some things that I should look out for to determine if you need a little extra motivation?
10. What does "extra motivation" look like?
I'm going to pass on these questions to Paul and see what he says. We'll devise a little plan based on his answers and I'll keep y'all posted with his journey! He's got one month to re-learn and re-instill a healthy lifestyle and I've got one month to keep him on track. Learn from our process and see how you too can be the Accountable Friend