Coping with the Holidays (Day 10)
I'm going to give me some credit. I managed to avoid 4 out of my 5 Christmas NO NO list items. Pat on the back for me for sticking to (most) of my guns. The stressor that I failed to avoid was my last minute Christmas shopping habit. I usually almost always leave it to a few days before Christmas. However, the difference this year was that I decided to go during the day when the mall is less crowded. So, although I didn't 100% avoid last minute shopping, I was strategic about it. Nonetheless, it was still a stressor.
I thought it would be interesting to put a fun twist to it my usual shopping habit by being mindful of the experience and develop emotional awareness. In a recent workshop I conducted on Emotional Intelligence, I spoke at great length at the importance of recognizing emotions as they arise. In understanding these emotions, we are able to regulate ourselves. I thought that being mindful of my emotions and thoughts on a moment-to-moment basis would help keep this shopping trip stress free (or at least less stressful) and was great practice in preventing impulsive buys. I kept a time log from this whole ordeal and looking back at it, it's pretty funny. Take a look:
12:45 PM- Finding parking is going to be a nightmare. Why do I always leave shopping to the last minute (frustrated and disappointed)
12:47PM- Oh great, parking! That was not as long as I thought it would be (relieved)
12:49 PM - *Walks into the mall* I'm ready to tackle this (motivated)
12:49PM- Oh shoot, I left my wallet in the car. I have to go back (annoyed)
1:00PM- Ok, NOW, I'm ready to tackle this (motivated..again)
1:04 PM- *Walks into Aritizia* I can never go wrong here (hopeful)
1:10 PM- Wow, I found nothing (surprised)
1:30 PM- I've been to way too many stores and found nothing. This is not going to be easy (worried)
1:37 PM- My cousin would love this...or maybe not...no actually, I think she would...but what if I already bought her this last Christmas?...wait, what happened last Christmas?.. what did we do last Christmas?.. why can't I remember last Christmas? (confused)
1:40 PM- I'm going to get it anyway. That's why God invented gift receipts. (cheeky)
1:41PM- Sick, one gift down (hopefully)
1:45 PM- I'm starting to feel hungry. I'll let it pass. Must keep shopping (determined)
1:46 PM- That didn't last too long, I need to eat (realistic)
1:47PM- This food court is so far away (anxious)
1:48PM- Healthy or cheap? McDonalds? Chipotle? Cultures? Mr. Sub? Hey, that place looks healthy and expensive. Let's go there. Wow, $3 salads, I'm sold. (excited)
1:50 PM- I can't find a seat in the food court, lets walk and eat. On second thought, I want to enjoy my salad, I'm going to sit and enjoy this (grateful)
1:54 PM- Shoot, I left my water bottle in the car. I'm so thirsty. I thought salad was water! (annoyed)
1:57 PM- *While walking past Mrs. Fields Cookies* A cookie right now would be so nice. No, you just had a salad. Don't ruin it (determined)
2:00 PM- Ok, let's get back to it. I'm ready to keep going (motivated)
2:30 PM- So many stores later and I finally have what I came in for. My feet hurt and my back hurts from carrying my back pack. I can't wait to get into the car (relieved)
Yay, two hours of being in the mall and I wasn't as stressed as I usually am. What was different about this shopping trip was that I was present in the moment and it helped me see shopping as a continuous process as opposed to a task that needed completion. What surprised me the most, in looking back at my inner dialogue, was the spectrum of emotions that I was feeling in just two hours. If I wasn't mindful, I would not have even noticed.
Being mindful of your moment-to-moment emotional changes can really encourage emotion regulation. When we are aware of our present emotion, we show ourselves that we have control over our resulting behaviour. With lack of knowledge, our emotions take control and dictate our behaviour. This is why we have breakdowns without any rhyme or reason. This is why we say or do things we don't mean in a fit of anger.
This was a fun exercise that didn't require much work. Simply awareness. I encourage you to try it out for yourself and see how it changes your view on mundane tasks you complete daily.