Recovering from Burnout
Hello Empathic Readers!
Can you believe it? It's already March and I'm embarrassed to say that this is my first blog post of 2019! Believe me, I had many drafts/ ideas for posts lined up for release, especially in February, but every time I sat down to write or edit, I just couldn't do it. It felt like I was housing bricks for brains and any form of intellectual content just didn't sound right. This has never happened to me. What was going on?
I was burning out ya'll.
I shouldn't be surprised. This was a long time coming. From preparing the book back in October, to organizing the book launch, to family commitments, running a practice, working 12 hour days, attending business meetings, consulting in mental health research projects, and running a household, I was slowly starting to see that 24 hours really wasn't enough hours in a day.
I am pleased with the fact that burnout didn't happen sooner and I think that my saving grace was that I was able to set aside "me time" to do the things I loved best - I love starting my day with a workout and a lavish breakfast. However, when that was jeopardized, things started to fall apart. I no longer had the energy to wake up in the morning to work out. This meant that I would sleep in, miss breakfast and start my day off grumpy. This then had a domino effect on the kinds of food I was eating (missing breakfast meant snacking on garbage food), which further affected my energy, further affecting my mood. I started to become anxious easily, frustrated more readily, and over all exhausted.The twisted part of this was the I was thriving on exhaustion. I thought to myself that, "if I'm exhausted, it must mean I'm doing something right". That mentality got old real quick.
It was so ironic that I had to Google symptoms of burnout, because I had a hunch that that's what I was feeling, and when I saw that I was checking off each item, I was (partially) convinced:
What are the symptoms of burnout?
1. Chronic fatigue - I felt physically tired all the time. I even went as far as going to my doctor to speak about it. I thought I had low iron levels or that I wasn't getting enough deep sleep. Blood tests and sleep tests showed that that was not the case. Fatigue can also be felt emotionally where you feel a sense of dread for what lies ahead on any given day. Given the nature of my job, it is normal to feel drained at the end of the day so I assumed it was due to the emotional workload I had.
2. Insomnia - I definitely had broken sleep where I would wake up often. Other symptoms of insomnia include trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.
3. Forgetfulness/impact in concentration and attention - If you are experiencing burnout, you may notice a lack of focus and concentration. It can become so bad that it can prevent you from completing tasks. Luckily I didn't have this problem.
4. Symptoms of anxiety - Increased heart rate, chest pain, shortness of breath, increased/decreased bowel movements, dizziness, fainting, and headaches. Check, check and check!
5. Loss of appetite - Increased stress suppresses your need to eat. If you're not feeling hungry or you're skipping meals, you may eventually lose appetite all together ! The opposite is also true. You may find that you are over eating/emotionally eating.
6. Depression - Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness sink in. You may start to begin feeling trapped and that nothing will change. It's usually at this point I begin to notice that something is wrong because I'm otherwise a happy person
7. Anger - Being frustrated is normal, but if you find yourself being frustrated about everything and recognize that your anger is becoming explosive and irrelevant to the situation at hand, this might be your final clue to burnout.
With this knowledge in hand, I had to make a few changes. I began by changing my start times for appointments, setting them a little later in the morning so that it gives me time to squeeze in a workout in the morning, even if I snooze a little longer. I also forced myself to take a break from my computer in the middle of the day to go for walks in the mall (I love window shopping). I got myself acquainted to a new docuseries that I looked forward to watching every night and I took any opportunity to journal my thoughts. Above all, I cut myself some slack - hence, the late blog post.
I hope today's post reminds you that even therapists are human and we sometimes forget to treat ourselves with self-care. What's important is that we are able to recognize it and make tangible changes to reverse burnout.
ALSO do you guys like our new look?! (A fruit of my burnout lol). I thought it was time for some change!