The NO NO List
Every so often I run into a newly broken up individual who is at wits end with the dating game. At this point, they're ready to give up on relationships all together and wonder why none of their relationships ever work out. This is where I introduce to them the NO NO list.
When we think about our ideal partner, we usually think about what we want, but seldom do we think about what we don't wantin a partner. The NO NO list is a list of characteristics that you cannot tolerate in a relationship. If the person you are dating presents any one of these traits and it cannot be changed, do not hesitate to press that reject button. Don't waste your time. Move on.
Everyone's NO NO list is different, depending on your values and needs. Here's mine:
Arrogance. [Not to be confused with confidence.] Those who think they are such a big deal without any reason is an automatic NO NO. Are you putting on the tough guy act pretending like you beat up guys who talk smack? Do you show off EVERY SINGLE ACCOMPLISHMENT? NEXT.
Guys who refer to their girlfriends as their [insert profanity]. How rude. This is your girlfriend we're talking about, have a little respect. You're supposed to love and care for her. Is that what you would call your mother? A man who doesn't respect women is not husband material.
Guys who can't hold an intelligent conversation/debate with me. If you can't talk to me about something profound or remotely interesting that doesn't challenge my way of thinking, move on. What I love is someone who can stump me and make me say, "you got me." However, with that said, if you prove your point and act arrogant about it and rub it in my face.. see number 1.
A know-it-all. I knew this one guy who had a rebuttal for literally anything I said. I found him to be attractive in the first place because he seemed really intelligent and ambitious and was always adding to my repertoire of knowledge. However, when it came time for me to share my knowledge or opinion, he always found something wrong with it. How do you have a conversation with someone like that?
Guys who only talk about themselves. I went to coffee with a male friend of mine and in the time we were conversing over our fraps, I could not wait to leave. He spent 15 minutes straight talking about himself (and this is not even an exaggeration), ask me a few questions about myself, completely ignore what I had to say and then continue talking about himself. Why am I even here? You might as well talk to a wall and get the same reaction. Needless to say, that was the last time we went for coffee.
For all those who are finding that they're having a bit of bad luck in the dating scene and can't seem to find the right kind of person, I encourage you to make your own NO NO list. It helps with the filtering process and saves you a lot of time and heartbreak. I would advise, however, to keep your list short and sweet. Having too many restrictions can cause you to eliminate too many options.
Date smarter, people!