The Power of Positivity
Last week in session, I noticed that I was bombarding my clients with the idea of finding the silver lining in their lives. I'm not sure if it was because I chose to view client issues through the lens of Positive Psychology or because it seemed to be fitting (or it could've been both) but it led to some interesting conversations around the power of positivity.
In a nut shell, Positive Psychology is a paradigm that suggests that rather than focusing solely on the negative aspects and perspectives of life's challenges, it is equally (if not more) helpful to see the positives as well. I am a big believer in "everything works out in the end", however, it's not enough to simply believe it, you have to act on it as well.
Dr. Lynn Johnson, a psychotherapist, speaks of the importance of learned optimism in coping with life stressors. He posits that combating challenges with positivity can be transformative. He uses the example of hating your job. On one hand, you may go into work everyday, miserable, upset and staring at the clock until it's time to go home. Your hatred for your job transmits a negative energy that is then reflected into your work and the way you interact with your colleagues. As such, the chances of you becoming eligible for promotion becomes questionable. Even if you decide that it’s time to start hunting for a job, your negative demeanor is reflected in your outlook on prospective jobs and may even show up in your cover letter and resume writing style. Imagine this showing up in a job interview! On the other hand, you can choose optimism and only focus on the aspects of your job that you enjoy. Pay attention to what made you enjoy your job in the first place- perhaps it's the fact that you get to make a difference, interact with fresh faces, crunch numbers, whatever it is. This then is reflected in your interaction with your colleagues, the quality of your work, and makes time go by faster. With this positive attitude, you are more likely to be considered for a promotion. Even if you decide to look for another job, the hunt feels a little less daunting, more promising and your positivity will surely be reflected in your cover letter and resume.
The reason why I believe that "everything works out in the end" is because when we have this optimistic outlook on what's to come, it can influence our present day behaviour. Channel that negativity into something that's positive. There's always a flip side to seeing things. Choose to see the positive- it feels better anyway.
Not sure how to start? Try this exercise. For every scenario below, find a silver lining:
1. After arriving at work, you realized you left your wallet at home
2. Your phone died in the subway and you don't have a charger
3. You pulled your back lifting weights at the gym
4. You don't have enough time to prepare dinner tonight
5. You're in a rush and there's a huge line up at the cashier
For more on Dr. Johnson's thoughts on learned optimism, check out this podcast here: Dr. Lynn Johnson on how Positive Psychology Transformed his Life and Career