Coping with the Holidays (Day 6)
Learning to say NO on any other day is hard, but learning to say NO during the holidays is worse. You could be pulled in all sorts of directions with family gatherings, potlucks, gift exchanges, reunion Christmas parties, Christmas traditions, etc. etc. where does it end? Suddenly we have too many days of commitment and before you know it, the holidays are long done and gone. In one of my older posts, "Being Your Own Yes-Person" I talk about how you owe it to yourself to put yourself first. By being a YES- person, you are actually a NO-person. You are saying NO to yourself again and again. It goes to show that you are capable of saying NO, you just direct it incorrectly.
It's a hard balancing act. On one hand, it's the holidays! You want to spend time with your family and those who you typically do not make time for. There are holiday traditions that you would hate to break and you feel that you would just disappoint others if you do. But on the other hand, holidays are becoming burdensome with high expectations to create the "perfect Christmas" and the expectation to commit to everything!
What I would suggest is to create a list of things that make you happy over the holidays. What is it that makes this season a joyous season for you? Keep this list fairly short. The items that have made it onto this list are the items that should take priority over the holidays. Ensure that these events are completed because they create happiness. Concoct another list of items that you absolutely dislike about the holidays. It can be running into a family member that you are not in good terms with, it can be your tradition of baking fruit cake for your family, friends and co-workers. Whatever it is that makes you dread the season. This is your NO-NO List. These are the items that you will commit to not doing thus removing the negativity of the season. Finally, create a third list. On this list, you will put down items that you are indifferent to. It doesn't make a huge difference to you if these are done or not. If you're looking to add a little excitement to your holiday, refer to this list. It can help you fill in some time [since you have so much time now that you have eliminated the things you don't want to do ;) ]
My three lists would look something like this:
List ONE: LOVE
Christmas tree selecting and decorating while listening to Christmas songs and drinking hot chocolate
Christmas midnight mass with my family
Coming home after midnight mass to eat mom's date cake and opening presents
Spending all night playing board games in our Christmas onesies and then driving to a breakfast diner for Christmas breakfast
LIST TWO: NO NO List
Last minute Christmas shopping and walking in crowded malls for hours
Putting up outdoor lights
Going to too many holiday parties where I only go because I feel that I have to but I really don't want to
Secret Santa- Absolutely dislike Secret Santa. There is so much pressure.
Indulging in too much food
List THREE: Indifferent
Skating at an outdoor skating rink
Holiday drinks at Starbucks
Watching holiday movies
Baking batches of sugar cookies
Making a dish for potluck
Santa Claus parade
Neighbourhood Christmas lights walk
How does my list compare to yours? Leave your comments below!