Imposter Syndrome is Real!
I take pride in being able to show my followers and/or clients some vulnerability. I like to remind those who are sitting across from me in the therapy room that I am human and I feel the same things that they do. These past few weeks, I have been feeling really... shy?... I wonder if that's the right word here. It's a familiar feeling for me, especially when it comes to talking about myself and sharing my knowledge.
I get this feeling often, when I know I am about to speak to a large audience about myself, my knowledge and my experience in the field. I have come to learn that that discomfort is called Imposter Syndrome. For those who do not know, Imposter Syndrome is this pervasive feeling or thought one has about themselves in which there is self-doubt and a sense of being a fraud that impacts their ability to see their successes and true intellect. Many famous people, whom you would never suspect, have experienced this same feeling as well. Tina Fey, Serena Williams, Tom Hanks, and even Maya Angelou have admitted to falling victim of imposter syndrome. Angelou has famously said, "I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'"
My first experience with this came from my first CBC interview about Road Rage. It was the first time I was representing myself as an expert in the field and my biggest fear was that someone listening to the interview would find some fault in my opinion/insight and that would render me a fraud. Cognitively, I know I have the years of education and experience to back up my content, but I couldn't shake the feeling.I experienced this feeling again when I was asked to speak on a panel about men and mental health. I had my 10 minute spiel ready and unsure of whether anyone would even address questions to me. I, somehow, talked through my nerves and my talk was well received. To my surprise, I even managed to answer questions that were directed to me. My self-doubt was crushed when other experts in the field approached me after the fact and reassured me that I did well.
Well, here we are again, sitting with the same feeling. With the book signing fast approaching, the Imposter Syndrome is in full blown. Thoughts of people reading the book and finding "fault" scares me like no other. Luckily for me, I have CBT on my side. When these thoughts occur, I remind myself that the workbook was piloted, reviewed and re-reviewed. It's been tested for months before it was put together. Any modifications I needed to make were already made. Other experts in the field have read and given their own input. I have to keep reminding myself of this!
Since Imposter Syndrome plagues 70% of all men and women, here are some things you can do about it
Recognize that you are experiencing imposter syndrome - Sometimes observing your thoughts and labeling them as they arise can reduce the emotional reaction you get from it
Practice CBT - Challenge your thoughts. Prove to yourself that you are not a fraud using facts and observations
Share with others your feelings - I get the most assuring comments when I explain imposter syndrome to family and friends. They are quick to remind me of the value of my knowledge and help reframe my thoughts
Be open to comments - Show yourself that you are also open to learning and viewing things from different perspectives.
Fake it 'til you make it - Sometimes its just a matter of faking that confidence, putting yourself out there, and letting your talent speak for itself. It helps me to have a great pair of heels on hand that make me feel confident the day of. They are definitely the superficial confidence boost I need on any occasion.
Do you experience Imposter Syndrome? If so, what do you do to counteract it? #AskingforaFriend