#NationalUnfriendDay

Happy #NationalUnFriendDay! If you're reading this, then chances are that you haven't unfriended us yet - Yay for friendship! I didn't realize that there was a dedicated day to purge your friends list on your social media platforms, but I guess it's a great reminder that every once in a while we need to take a deep dive into our contact list and keep around those that make us happy and kick to the curb those who don't. I briefly spoke about this in an article with Thriveworks.com entitled, "When Social Media Makes You Sad" as I describe a time where I developed a habit of comparing myself to others and highlighted all the ways that I was "failing" at life. 

I tell Thriveworks.com, 

"During the early stages of my career, I had the feeling that I was behind my friends. They had their careers laid out for them and some were already on to purchasing their first homes. Meanwhile, I was still completing my Master’s degree and living at home. I was already feeling down on myself and my exposure to social media made this worse.

I was comparing myself to my friends. I would see them going on adventures, eating exotic and expensive foods, going to concerts, etc. and I couldn’t help feeling bad about myself. I then made a conscious decision to remove myself from a few platforms (Snapchat especially) and weeded out those who didn’t make me feel good about myself. It turned out to be a great decision because I was no longer comparing myself and it left my self-esteem intact."

My purging strategy was simple enough: I would only keep around family members, those who I kept in contact with on a daily basis, those who I looked up to/was inspired by, and those who I have frequent tag games with. Everyone else - need to go.

This "others" list were individuals who regularly posted about their great lives and only posted about their great lives. They were also those who posted about good deeds that they have completed during the day. Anyone who I felt was being "fake" also was unfriended.

If you feel the same way about social media and not sure about how to start your purge, here are some tips to get you going.

Tips on how to Unfriend on #NationalUnfriendDay

1. Ask yourself if this person is actually a "friend" - In times of need or even if you want to chat, would you go to this person? Would you feel comfortable enough to share your challenges with this person? How would you feel about inviting this person to coffee? If that's awkward for you, that's a good sign that this person is not a friend, but simply a social media friend.

2. Determine your purpose for following this friend - Ask yourself why you are friends with this individual in the first place. Is it for nostalgia? Are you curious about what they're up to? Do you like some of the things that they post? Figure out what value this person brings to your life and decide from there. 

3. Question how this person makes you feel - If you play the comparison game like I do, and you find that this person makes you feel terrible about yourself, then maybe this is not the right friend for you. Do yourself a favour and click that unfriend button.

4. Will having this person on your list improve your home feed? Whenever our friends post something on their profiles, it shows up on our home feed. Ask yourself if their posts enhances or ruins the series of posts you see on your home feed. For example, if your "friend" is an avid animal rights activist and regularly posts videos of slaughtered pigs, you may want to reconsider this friendship (or at the very least manage the posts you see). However, if the same friend posts educational images or non-judgemental videos/statuses, then they may not need to go.

5. Ask yourself if deleting this person will empower you - We all have that one friend who we've had close ties with over the years and then the relationship gradually goes sour. Despite that, they're still on your friends list. You sit there and watch them live their best life without you (and vice versa). You keep these friends around with the illusion that you're still "friends" but you both know that you're not. Too much time has passed with neither of you taking that step to reconnect. You both know it's over but still cling on. Will deleting this friend symbolize to you the end of an era and beginning of a new chapter? Will unfriending help you draw that line and show that you've moved on? Will this prove to yourself that you've moved on?

Hope these tips help! I also hope that by after taking these tips into consideration, we still remain friends!